饱受创伤的贵真如何摆脱羞耻，找到生命的意义？
At 7 years old, Melinda was sexually abused by her grandfather, who threatened to stop loving her if she breathed a word about it. Afraid of losing love, she kept quiet and turned to binge eating to cope with her pain. She rapidly gained weight, and at 12 years old, Melinda weighed over 80kg. She became the target of school bullies, who would call her names like “fatty bom bom”. The repeated fat-shaming eventually triggered a battle with eating disorders.
Melinda lost 30kg in 6 months and made friends. However, most were bad company. By 17, she was chain-smoking, drinking heavily and hopping in and out of relationships. Filled with shame, she left church thinking that God would not accept her. For the next 10 years, she tried different ways to fill her inner void and one of them was material possessions. Her party lifestyle continued, but one day she was sexually violated while unconscious. She also pinned her hopes on marriage but got divorced after a year – “What more can life throw at me? At this point, I had already attempted suicide multiple times, but those failed as well.”
At her lowest point, a former colleague invited Melinda to visit the poor in Cambodia. Thinking it was a chance to make herself ‘useful’ before ending her life, she agreed. However, upon seeing their living conditions, her heart broke – “Children were running around naked while their parents were scavenging for food.” Then, Melinda heard God’s voice, “Daughter, if you don’t want your life, give it to Me. I’ll show you what purpose is.”
After her encounter with God, Melinda’s heart softened and she returned to church. Though she struggled to break free from past addictions, she poured her heart out to God. As Melinda continued to meditate on God’s truth and love for her, her life started to change; cigarettes and alcohol made her feel sick, drugs lost their appeal, and profanities felt bitter in her mouth – “I felt like a new person, and I know it could only be God.” She also found strength to forgive her late grandfather for sexually abusing her.
Last November, Melinda married a man who also shares a heart for Christ. Today, she is a full-time missionary and runs ‘Brave Ministry Cambodia’ to serve the disadvantaged. Once purposeless, Melinda’s purpose now is to be an extension of God’s love.
